Hi, My Spoonie Sisters!
I am Jen for short, and I am a wife, a mother, Nana, office admin by day, and so much more. I won’t pretend to be a writer or an author, so please don’t expect exceptional writing here. I am just a girl wanting to share my why. I want to be real – to be raw. Something about that seems comforting to me. When I surround myself with others willing to draw back the curtain or remove the mask they carry I am much more comfortable in my own skin.
If confidence starts with comfort and scary things are not comfortable, what encourages us to leap the uncomfortable? For most, a journey can be intimidating or daunting for that matter. I have not been a person exuding confidence. But why do you ask? The answer is not simple at all. The answer is many minor things over time, a small comment here and there, a laugh, a look. It can be a lasting experience. For me, it was those little things over time, mixed with some really big ones too. As a child, I loved being the center of attention and wanted to excel in everything from music to theatre My little self enjoyed dancing, and singing, and looked forward to plays and excuses to feel heard. Junior High was the beginning of my fall. I suddenly didn’t fit in and felt like the nerdy outcast. In attempts to fit the part and stay on trend, I tried all the things. The movie Clueless was one of my new favorites. I believed if I dressed like the characters, colored my hair, and acted differently, then I would fit right in again. Yeah, right! In High School, my fashion attempts only got worse as I tried the skater look, the fashion-forward, etc…I had no hairstyling skills, so I just kept cutting my beautiful hair shorter. By my junior year, I would be walking down the hall to class and had a group of a senior guys laughing and calling me a dyke as I walked hand in hand with my then-boyfriend.
Over twenty years later and I am still not that once confident little girl, but big things have happened in my life to mold me and stretch me into the person I am meant to be. This is all okay, you see, because I believe I am exactly as I made me to be. I am ever-changing and always striving to learn and grow. I believe to be designed differently than the plans I had for myself. I guess what I am saying here is that confidence doesn’t start with comfort either. We need to be okay with being uncomfortable! Doing good in the world because if it was easy, then it may not be worth doing. Most things worthwhile do not come easily to us at all. So try the thing, choose movement, fall, try again! But do not give up. Sister, you are made for more.
♡ Gracefully Jen